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Featured Interview: Metal Rules! Magazine
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A Complete Waste Of Space: An Interview with Paul Pfeiffer

Featured Interview: Metal Rules! Magazine

Interview with Metal Jeffie (the big boss of the metal scene..or so he would have you believe)

1. Have you guys ever gotten any death threats for all those e-mail gags you send to people?

Never gotten any death threats, but recently Stevie Rachelle said that if I stood in front of him, he'd punch me in the face. I'm not worried about that. But, the most amusing occurance was when Anthony Michael
Hall cranked called me at work pretending he was a lawyer and telling me to cease and desist, or some such legal BS. But I called him on that and he hung up. Ha... what a putz.

2. You really need to stop bothering the guy from Warrant tho. They rock!!! Will ya leave him alone for me???

No. But I need good ol' Erik's new email address. He recently changed accounts and didn't notify me. I thought we were friends, dammit.

3. What was the best response you guys ever got from one of you e-mail gags?

Erik Turner, duh.

4. I have to know. Does anyone ever actually buy a Metal Rules! t-shirt? Why?

Yes. We sold out of our first run on the white T-shirts and the black style is selling extremely well. Why?! Because they rule. You're just sore that we don't make a Metal Rules! shirt in a children's medium so you can wear one that fits.

5. Am I the only one who thinks that the guy singing on the cover of issue #4 looks a lot like Reggie Mantle?

It's funny, when I first read "Reggie Mantle," all I could think about was that baseball player who had a candy bar named after him. I loved that candy. What ever happened to that? You would think that after working at a comicbook store after 5 years, I would have known who Moose's girlfriend was.

6. I've noticed that when doing an interview with someone you tend to repeat back something that they just answered. Afraid we'll miss something?

You've noticed that when doing an interview we tend to repeat back something that they just answered? Yes. Most of the people I interview, and all my readers, are dumb hicks whom can't readum too durn good.

7. Who was the lucky person who got to take the picture of you in the tub?

My mother, of course! Then she got in with me. Hubba-hubba!

8. Ever notice there are a lot of bands called Profanity (or some variation of)?

I SWEAR that it's a CURSE. Fuck.

9. You actually met Vanilla Ice? What was he like?

Don't you own issue #5? I think that the interview was pretty self-explainatory. I only printed it verbatim for your dumb ass! This article is actually a really good one and Vanilla Ice was such a cool dude to talk to although he IS a little sensitive. The interview has recently won an award for one of the best zine articles of 1999. This will be published in a book later this year. The back issue is still available.

10. You prefer the Soulfly CD to the newest Sepultura CD....why is that?

Because the newest Sepultura bites monkey dick. Soulfly kicks ass. Let's face facts here, Max can survive without Sepultura, but Sepultura cannot surivive without Max. I still wish that they would get back together, though.

11. So what's up with all the pics of you anyway?

I'm sexy and quite pleasing.

12. Planning on cutting down on the number of reviews per issue? I tend to get sick of reading reviews after reading one of your issues.

What would possess you to read more reviews after reading mine? Didn't I give you eveything you need to know? This is why Metal Rules! exists... to support the Underground, give as many bands exposure as possible and to talk about poop.

13. 5 favourite bands.

Very easy. Iron Maiden. Judas Priest. AC/DC. Slayer. Jeff and his Magic Kazoo.

14. What happened to the photo review section? Will it ever return?

My editor, Joe, really loved that idea. However, we now put so many comments with our current photos that it kinda makes up for it. Joe & I almost had one put in with issue 7, but again, thought that it was
redundant. Perhaps with issue #8...

15. 3 fave `zines?

Lamentations of the Flame Princess. Promethean Crusade.

16. Which bands will be in the next issue?

How's this for a line-up: Little Steven (from Bruce Springsteen and Sopranos fame), Doro Pesch (WARLOCK), ANNIHILATOR, EG Daily (voice of Babe the Pig, Tommy Pickles from Rugrats and others) and Joe Lynn Turner (RAINBOW, DEEP PURPLE, etc). Plus some more surprises that I don't want
to mention just yet.

17. Ever feel like editing down some of your interviews you do? Some are pages and pages!!!!

No. Should they be short and uninteresting like yours?

18. So Lemmy, King Diamond, Dee Snider, and Slash were at your wedding?

Yup. The entire Metal community showed up EXCEPT for you. Sorry, I ran outta invites.

19. What else do you want to say?

BRAND NEW ISSUE IS OUT NOW!!!METAL RULES! Magazine #7! 100 pages of METAL insanity topped with a FULL COLOR glossy cover! This hasn't even hit the stores yet! This issue features interviews with SEBASTIAN BACH (He didn't want this interview to be printed but here it! METAL RULES! asks
him all the questions he's never been asked and it's hilarious!!! w/Exclusive Live! photos), Zakk Wylde (OZZY OSBOURNE/BLACK LABEL SOCIETY) (he talks about unheard of insane OZZY stories, what he'd like to do to BRITNEY SPEARS, how he'd like to kill BUSH, how much his band drinks and tons more!) plus BRUCE DICKINSON of IRON MAIDEN (8 packed pages full of stuff Bruce has NEVER talked about! Bruce tells the dirtiest joke you've ever heard, talks about his Kids picking his nose and wonders why the interviewer has just asked him for a hug! The best and funniest interview you'll ver read with the God Of Heavy Metal!!!) IMPALED, DANIEL ROEBUCK (STAR OF THe Late Shift (he played JAY LENO of Tonight Show fame), MATLOCK, NASH BRIDGES, DUDES, Rivers Edge, THE FUGITIVE, PROJECT X, US MARSHALLS, FINAL DESTINATION and more) (12 informative but hilarious pages!), SPIRAL ARCHITECT (Featuring members of BORKNAGAR and SATYRICON), IMPIETY, DISCERN (Christian Death Metal), SEA OF DREAMS, KREATOR (Mille answers the strangest questions of his life and
laughs his head off! 4 packed pages!!), MANOWAR (Eric Adams answers the strangest questions of his life and has a great time doing it!), FRED NORRIS (and his band KING NORRIS) of the HOWARD STERN SHOW ! FRED does a hilarious and VERY STRANGE 4 page interview w/exclusive photos! What else would you expect from the KING OF MARS?!!! PLUS Exclusive Photos and reports from METAL MELTDOWN w/ ANGEL CORPSE, IMMORTAL, DORO PESCH, TESTAMENT, S.O.D., IMPALED NAZARENE, HADES, VITAL REMAINS, DECEASED, WITCHERY, IN EXTREMO, SENTENCED, VIRGIN STEEL, DYING FETUS and tons more! PLUS Savage E-mail with STEVIE RACHELLE of TUFF and CWA (Cheeseheads with Attitude) PLUS concert reports with DIO (the largest DIO concert review EVER written, STEVE VAI (w/ tons of exclusive photos), KITTIE, FISH (Marillion), PRIMUS, QUEENSRYCHE, CINDERELLA and more!, PLUS a WRESTLING Report PLUS reviews of ALL OUT WAR, AMON AMARTH, ANGRA, ARCH ENEMY, CANNIBAL CORPSE, DARK TRANQUILITY, DIMMU BORGIR, HYPOCRISY, MAMOWAR, METAL CHURCH, SAMAEL, TNT and over 100 more! PLUS tons and tons of laughs! You can't be without this ESSENTIAL Magazine!

Also available
#6-interviews with BRUCE CAMPBELL (Evil Dead, Jack of All Trades, Xena etc), GODSMACK, ANTHRAX, RATT, Jeff's Mom, VORE, KING DIAMOND, Don Lemmon (Fitnees Guru), PARIS THEMMEN (Mike TV from Willy Wonka), TESTAMENT and more! SAVAGE E-mail with WARRANT, ANTHRAX, ROB ZOMBIE, KEEL and ADAM CURRY (MTV!)! Plus tons more! 400 reviews! 100 pages!

#5-interviews with VANILLA ICE, GWAR, OVERKILL, SLUDGE!, HADES, LUNATIC GODS (From SLOVAKIA) and STUART SMITH (Rock-Blues Guitar GOD)! Savage e-mail with LILLIAN AXE, YNGWIE MALMSTEEM and WARRANT! Plus tons more reviews and laughs!

#4-Wedding special with wraparound pAINTED COVER FEATURING OVER 50 Heavy Metal stars and EDDIE (Iron Maiden) getting married! Interviews with MICHAEL SWEET (Stryper), PUNISHER, HOLY MOTHER, DEATH ANGUS, GAFFI STICKS, XIBALBA and VWF (ONe of the first back-yard wrestling organazations!)

All back issues are $5 each worldwide!

Metal Rules! Magazine OFFICIAL T-shirt ($15)
Available in L, XL or XXL!
Metal Rules! Magazine OFFICIAL Long Sleeve T-shirt ($25)
Available in L, XL or XXL!

All bands, labels and zines: feel free to send stuff in for review. We
cover the full Metal spectrum: Death, Black, Glam, Thrash, Hardcore, etc.

Metal Rules! Magazine
2116 Sandra Road
Voorhees, NJ 08043 USA

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